


VIBE

by Lostideas



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Basically, Blow Jobs, Cake - Freeform, Child Abandonment, Drunk Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Frist Time With A Guy, High School AU, Luke Is Confused, Luke's also rich, M/M, Michael and Ashton are good friends, Minor Angst, Romance, Smut, So is Calum, drunk teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:13:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6198190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lostideas/pseuds/Lostideas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke’s drunk.</p><p>And not the kind of drunk where you’re just a little vague, where it’s a nice buzz, numbing your brain just the right amount so you’re a little bit loose but still aware of what you’re doing.</p><p>Oh no. Luke is shitfaced.</p><p>And he’s far from the only one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Numb Me

_[THIS](http://s1.favim.com/orig/150123/iphone-calum-hood-luke-hemmings-bromance-Favim.com-2412840.jpg)  &  [THIS](https://33.media.tumblr.com/89d5220b972c780f820af292644752c9/tumblr_nf8z9dJDA21tm0es2o1_250.gif)_

 

 

_So we’ll piss off the neighbours,  
In the place that fills the tears, the place to lose your fears_

_Reckless behaviour  
A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw_

 

_-_

 

 

‘Lucas Hemmings!’

Luke’s head shoots up from where he was resting it on his arms on his table, only to make eye-contact with his history teacher who’s standing right in front of his table.

‘Sleeping during class I see?’ Mr Stone asks, his typical round glasses halfway up his nose and his black curly hair like mob on his head. He’s wearing a white dress shirt with a blue pullover, and it involuntarily reminds Luke of his father.

It takes Luke a while to realise he’s in class, and that he fell asleep with his head on his table. Again.

‘I’m sorry.’ He mumbles. ‘I didn’t get enough sleep last night.’

‘You might want to spend less time parting and a little more studying, Lucas. It’ll help your grades a little.’ Mr Stone comments, turning around and walking back to the whiteboard in front of the classroom.

‘My name’s not Lucas.’ Luke comments, suddenly out of his mind annoyed with his teachers attitude against him. Why do they always assume he’s out partying 24/7? Just because he hangs with the popular crowd? Because he’s on the soccer team? And why is he always being called out on his grades? They’re fucking fine!

The class falls silent, some students even turning around to watch the scène. Luke catches the look of some of his friends, Michael’s emerald green eyes in particular from where he’s sitting next to Ashton in the front of the classroom. He can read Michael’s expression like no other: _Shut up Luke. Don’t do it Luke._

But Luke’s not feeling this whole taking-shit-from-teachers thing this morning.

‘Excuse me?’ Mr Stones asks, turning around again.

‘My name isn’t short for anything, sir. Why do you keep calling me Lucas? It’s just Luke. And why would you assume I went out to party? You don’t know shit about me.’

The second the words leave his lips, Luke knows he’s in trouble. Mr Stone is known for taking absolutely nothing from students.

‘Well, “just Luke”, how about you go and tell the principle why you were sleeping in my class huh? I’m not here to beg for attention from spoiled students who clearly don’t feel like being here. Leave.’

Luke stands up, making a horrible sound in order to express how annoyed he is before grabbing his bag from the floor and making his way out of class.

‘I’m not fucking spoiled!’ He shouts before slamming the classroom door shut behind him.

Goddamn it. That’s the third time this week.

 

-

 

‘You’re such a fucking idiot.’ Michael comments, leaning against the lockers next to Luke’s.

‘ _I know_ Michael. Shut up.’

‘No seriously dude, your dad is gonna kill you.’

‘Oh right, since he’s home all the time to do so. Funny.’ Luke bitterly spats out. Michael’s facial expression changes immediately.

‘I’m sorry… you know I didn’t…’

‘Mikey, it’s fine.’ Luke answers, slamming his locker shut. ‘I’m just being oversensitive.’

Luke’s father is rich, which is a well-known fact around the school. There are more kids with wealthy parents, but none of them own the amount of money Luke’s father has. People tend to write him off as spoiled, but really, he’s lonely as hell. His father is never home, and his mother left them to go live with some bigshot new boyfriend in Cali. Since he doesn’t have any brothers and sisters, he’s mostly on his own.

Well, that’s not true. He’s got Michael, Ashton and Calum. His three best friends in the world who’ve become like brothers to him.

‘It’s… whatever. You’re coming to the party tonight?’ Luke changes the subject.

He’s giving a party to celebrate it’s almost spring break, and just to have something to do with that big empty house of his. Having people around makes him feel so much better, even if he doesn’t know half of them.

‘Yeah, sure. Ash and Cal coming too?’ Michael asks while he swings his backpack over his shoulder. They start their walk towards the courtyard for lunch, making their way through the crowds of students in the hallway.

Luke smiles at the mention of Calum, his best friend since kindergarten. He doesn’t know exactly why, but the idea of his friend showing up to his party makes him forget about his bad mood and his teacher sending him to the principle. Sure, he has detention again, but Calum would know what to say to make him feel better. He always does.

He and Calum grew up together, and he’s seen Luke go through the loss of his mother and the loneliness of his father never being there. If anyone is like a brother to Luke, it’s Calum. Except… he feels like more. He’s not just a brother, he gets Luke. Really gets him on an emotional level, like no one ever has before.

It’s probably just cause they’ve been friends for so long.

‘They said they would.’ Luke answers Michael’s question. They enter the lunch room and get some pizza slices and juice before walking out to the tables outside. Their usual crowd is gathered by their table in the far left corner of the courtyard where they can sunbathe in peace. The boys walk over, spotting Ashton and Calum between soccer players and girls with long, wavy hair and big shiny eyes.

Luke always found them a bit intimidating. And in his eighteen years he’s never really fell in love with a girl. Sure, he had his romances with some of them, and he lost his virginity last year to a pretty girl on vacation with Calum, Michael and Ashton, but that feeling that he’s been waiting for, that overwhelming feeling that love should be, has never been there.

And the sex was okay… but it wasn’t what he had expected of it either. But that might be cause everybody sucks their first time?

‘Lukey!’ One of the girls calls out when he and Michael make their way towards their friends, making Luke’s train of thoughts stop. The girl detaches herself from her friends and walks towards Luke, stopping him before he can reach the table.

He knows the girl: her names Julie and she’s in his geography class. She has long, dark blonde hair and piercing green eyes that seem to look right through him every time he talks to her. She never ever misses a soccer game when he’s playing.

Luke’s not blind, he knows the girl is gorgeous, but he’s never really been attracted to her. She is to him however, and he’s positive he’ll never hear the end of it if his friends find out he doesn’t want her. That leaves Luke to one option: fake it.

‘Hey Luke.’ She says, stroking his arm from shoulder to elbow.

‘Hey Julie.’ He answers, smiling down at her. ‘You coming to the party tonight?’

‘Yeah, I’m looking forward to it! Your parents won’t be there, will they?’ She asks, some kind of hinting in her voice. Luke’s never been good at catching signs girls give him, but this one is quite hard to miss.

‘Nope, they won’t be.’ He answers, while immediately thinking of a way he might be able to avoid Julie tonight. Any normal eighteen year old wouldn’t miss the opportunity to sleep with a beautiful girl like her, but Luke has excepted long ago that he is far from normal anyway.

‘Right, so I’ll see you tonight.’ Julie answers. She gives Luke a little wink before walking off to her friends again.

 

-

 

‘So how about Julie huh?’ Calum asks. They’re chilling in the game room in Luke’s house, lying on their bellies on the matrass Luke put there, Xbox controllers in their hands.

The game room is a bedroom-sized room with creamy white walls and tall windows on the right of the room overlooking Luke’s garden, probably placed there by his father to remind Luke of what he’s missing out on while he’s gaming inside.

The view has never tempted Luke to go outside instead of play Fifa.

There’s some arcade games close to the door on the left of the room, then a game of table tennis, then a dart game that is the very reason this room is on lockdown during party nights, then the matrass in the right corner of the room facing a huge flatscreen TV on the wall. Below the flatscreen lie countless Xbox and PlayStation games and a few controllers. It’s what every boy would probably dream about, but to Luke it stands for nothing but time filling bullshit to keep him somewhat entertained and meaningless gifts from his father to let Luke know he still acknowledges the existence of his son, even though he hasn’t been home in four months.

It’s been four long months. He’s been over at Calum’s more than usual for sleepovers and to eat dinner with him and his family, just to get rid of that horrible feeling of being alone on the earth. It really gets to him at night sometimes, nagging and pulling at him until it swallows him whole and leaves him crying and shaking until the morning light peeks through his curtains.

Luke hates those nights. It makes him wat to do horrible stuff to himself.

He never does though, because he keeps holding on to the idea that the morning will come. The sunshine will return and in the light of a new day, when his friends show’s up at his doorstep with pancake mix and action movies, things never seem as bad anymore.

Those tiring nights are the reason he falls asleep in class though, especially when Stone is talking about the civil war with his boring monotone voice.

‘What about Julie?’ Luke asks, not taking his eyes off of the screen where him and Calum are mindlessly slaughtering countless zombies. Talking is easier when you don’t have to look someone in the eye.

‘Well? You tell me. Are you gonna get some tonight?’ Calum asks, pausing the game and turning to his friend. Luke sighs and lets his head fall down on the matrass below him. This means this is gonna be one of those _real_ conversations, one of those that requires pausing the game. Calum’s always been good at those. Luke isn’t and will probably never be.

‘I don’t know man.’ He says into the sheets.

‘What do you mean? Clarify yourself Lucas.’

Luke laughs a little, lifting his head and looking at his friend.

‘Well, I guess she’s just not really my type?’ Luke mumbles. He waits for Calum to go on about how he must be gay if he isn’t into Julie, but Calum just lifts his eyebrows like he wants Luke to continue.

‘I just… I feel like she should be my type? Cause the guys are always going on about how hot she is, and how much she wants me. And I guess she’s hot and all, but she just doesn’t… when I look at her it doesn’t do shit for me, you know? I feel like I should at least be somewhat aroused by her presence if I want to sleep with her.’

Calum laughs at the last part and shakes his head a little. ‘Yeah man, that’s fine.’ He answers. ‘Whatever, you can like who you like. If that’s not Julie that’s fine. You shouldn’t listen to the guys, they’re just jealous, sexless little shits.’

Luke laughs and nods.

‘Thanks Cal.’ He says, smiling at his friend. Calum grins, rolls onto his back and opens his arms, signing Luke to come and cuddle with him. They’ve been doing that since they were really young and shared a bed during sleepovers, it’s never been weird  or awkward to them even though some of their friends find it strange. Luke crawls over to Calum and lays his head down on his friends chest. Calum smells nice, like cologne and grown up man and… just Calum.

‘So, how are things lately?’ Calum asks, hands under his head and eyes on the chandelier dangling from the ceiling, sending little beams of glittery light everywhere.

Luke’s father loves chandeliers, that’s why there’s one in almost all the rooms in the house, even a tiny one in the bathroom. His father sees them as the ultimate symbol of wealth.

Luke likes them cause they’re pretty. But he’s never said that out loud before.

‘Things are okay.’ Luke answers truthfully. Even though the nights have been hard, his friends have been by his side a lot, especially Calum. They helped him so much.

‘You miss your dad?’

‘A little less every day he’s away.’ Luke mumbles. ‘I think I must be getting used to it.’

He pushes himself up a little so he can look at Calum. Calum’s head turns, he looks back at Luke.

‘I’m sorry.’ Calum just says. Luke nods slowly, then shrugs, then rolls onto his back so he’s next to Calum on the matrass, then fights the tears as hard as he possibly can. How can Calum get to him like that? Just two simple words. The bastard always knows what to say to trigger Luke’s feelings. Always with the “you should talk about it”. Luke loves and hates his friend to death because of it.

‘How about we get this party started motherfuckers!’ Somebody yells all of a sudden, making Luke and Calum both jump. They sit up, and stare at Michael who’s standing in the doorway of the game room with a silly party hat on and a disco ball under his arm. His red hair is wild on his head, peaking out in different directions.

‘Michael?! Help me with the goddamn crates!’ They hear Ashton shout from downstairs.

Luke almost forgot all his closest friends have keys to his front door and bedroom door. Some kind of “suicide-watch” he’s been put on when Michael had to break into his house by throwing a rock through the window three months ago during one of Luke’s mental breakdowns, only to get Luke to come out, put pants on and stop eating nothing but cereal.

‘I’m sorry, was I interrupting something?’ Michael asks, wiggling his eyebrows at the two boys. Calum rolls his eyes, pointing at the tv that’s still paused on the zombie game.

‘You interrupted the best damn game of Killing Floor you’ll ever witness.’ He answers. ‘Come on Luke.’

Calum pulls Luke from the matrass and drags him towards Michael, who’s already making his way downstairs.

‘I’m gonna do so much chicks tonight my dick will fall off!’ Michael announces while jumping down the last two steps, rushing to Ashton to help him drag in countless of crates full of beer.

‘Lots of confidence over there.’ Calum comments, rolling his eyes.

‘I’ll have to see it to believe it.’ Luke adds.

 

-

 

Luke’s drunk.

And not the kind of drunk where you’re just a little vague, where it’s a nice buzz, numbing your brain just the right amount so you’re a little bit loose but still aware of what you’re doing.

Oh no. Luke is shitfaced.

And he’s far from the only one.

The living room of his father’s mansion is filled with young, intoxicated, sweating bodies dancing close to each other. The laminate floor is covered with spilled drinks and red cups, the furniture that was shoved to a corner of the room is being used as a make-out spot, kids are jumping in the pool, and Luke knows he’s lost control over this party completely.

Yet he couldn’t care less. He’s in the middle of the body-gathering in the living room, dancing with his hands up in the air, swaying his hips to a thick R&B beat. The bass is booming through his body and he feels amazing, sexy, king of the world, infinite.

He hasn’t felt like this in a long time, and he’s not planning on letting it slip away from him. He swallows the remains of what was in his cup before throwing it down and stepping on it. He giggles a little at his actions and starts greeting some people whose name he doesn’t remember while making his way towards the kitchen for more. More of this feeling, more of the warmth spreading in his stomach, more, more, more!

When Luke stumbles his way into the kitchen he is greeted with more noise. At the kitchen island, he spots Michael’s red hair. He’s throwing back shots with some guy from the soccer team, getting cheered on by people around him. Ashton is standing in between the legs of some girl in a short skirt who’s sitting on the counter, talking to her, laughing and stroking her bare thighs. There’s someone throwing up over at the sink and people all over leaning against the counters, mixing drinks and opening new bottles.

And there is someone tapping Luke’s arm.

Luke turns around too quickly and grabs the counter for support, only to be greeted by two big, shiny green eyes.

‘Lukey!’ The girl squeaks.

Julie.

‘Julie! You made it!’ Luke shouts back, way louder than he had to. Julie seems a bit taken back by his intoxicated state, but shrugs it off and starts to lean against him anyway.

‘I did, yeah. You maybe wanna… like, find a place to talk more _privately_?’

‘Like the garden?’ Luke asks. ‘The garden seems like a fine place to talk to someone, there’s not much music, or people… even though we do own a pool. Oh, there will probably be people at the pool. I don’t know about the garden Julie, I mean, if you really want to then I guess we could but…’

‘Luke.’ Julie interrupts him, effectively shutting up his pointless rambling. ‘I don’t really wanna talk. I wanna do… other stuff with my mouth.’

Her mouth curls up into a wicked smile as she places her hands on either side of Luke, leaning in, and Luke can feel himself get a little nauseous. He doesn’t understand why, but the idea of Julie doing stuff with her mouth to him makes him feel sick.

‘Julie! Luke!’

And suddenly there’s Calum. He comes to stand next to Luke, leaning against the counter. Naturally Luke leans into him, placing his head on Calum’s shoulder and rubbing against him like he’s some kind of cat.

He’d be Calum’s cat. That could be cool.

‘Hi Calum.’ He hears Julie say, her voice sounding irritated.

‘Calum you’re my super hero.’ Luke tells his friend, touching his face, trying to somehow let him know he just saved Luke form an awkward conversation but not being able to find the normal words right now.

‘You’re… Cal-man. Super-Cal. No…no. _O my god_. Captain Calum.’ Luke looks at his friend with big eyes, raises his fist into the air and shouts: ‘CAPTAIN CALUM TO THE RESCUE!’

Calum can’t stop laughing, one hand grabbing his belly, the other keeping him steady against the counter. Calum is clearly drunk too, Luke thinks. And he looks cute as hell.

Calum is wearing all black Vans, black skinny jeans and a Drop Dead tank top that shows off his tattoo’s and biceps in a delicious way that shouldn’t have Luke staring like this but it does. Luke’s well aware of his friends physique, and he isn’t that bad himself, being on the soccer team and all, but the way Calum’s skinny jeans hug his thighs…

It gives him thoughts he definitely shouldn’t have about his best friend.

‘Luke, how about that privacy talk yeah?’ Julie tries again, surprising him a little. Luke almost forgot about her.

He wants to open his mouth to say something, but Captain Calum beats him to it again.

‘Lucas wants you to… he wants you to know that he is very much fat… o my god, no not fat!’ Calum can’t hold in another fit of laughter, and Luke joins him.

‘No, no Luke stop laughing! He’s _flattered_ by the offer, but he is like, gay as hell. With me.’ Calum stutters out while grabbing Luke’s waist and hugging him from behind. Luke can’t help but laugh again, nodding in conformation.

‘Gay as hell!’ He repeats. ‘With America’s greatest super hero, Captain Calum.’

‘O my god, go fuck yourself. Our each other, jesus.’ Julie says, finally done with Luke’s shit. She pushes her way out of the kitchen, leaving the two boys standing together with huge grins on their faces. Luke turns around to face Calum again, who let’s go of Luke’s waist.

‘Thanks Callie. She wanted to do sex to me.’ Luke says with a serious look on his face. Calum laughs again, shaking his head.

‘Poor Lukey.’ He comments. ‘A pretty girl wants to do sex to you. How you must suffer.’

‘But I don’t _like_ her!’ Luke whines, throwing his head back dramatically. Then he whips his head back with a serious look on his face. ‘I gotta take a piss.’ He states, looking around for an opportunity. Calum nods, looking equally as serious, and takes Luke’s arm to drags him back into the living room.

Luke wants to dance. No wait, he wants to piss. But he wants to dance too.

He lets himself be dragged through the living room, towards the door that leads to the hallway. They were smart enough to lock that one to prevent people from going upstairs and do dirty things in Luke’s bed.

‘I have… You gave me one of those key thingies.’ He hears Calum mumble to no one in particular before watching him unlock the door. He pushes Luke into the hallway and locks the door again behind them. They giggle a bit, look at each other with goofy smiles on their faces and start making their way over the cold marble floor towards the big, equally as cold marble stairway.

‘Cal, I feel great.’ Luke states as they climb the stairs. It’s true, he does feel great. He hasn’t felt as free as he does now in such a long time. He feels wonderful.

Calum leads Luke to the guest bathroom next to his bedroom.  The white tiles are shining, reflecting the light from the small chandelier that’s hanging from the ceiling. Luke’s hypnotised by it.

‘Chandeliers are so fucking pretty, Cal.’ He whispers. Even the softest sound is suddenly so loud now that they’re out of the living room. He can still vaguely hear the bass in the background, but they seem to be in a whole other world all of a sudden. A shiny, chandelier filled world with soft white light and shiny white tiles and… why did they come up here again?

‘You’re _so_ right.’ Calum comments. He followed Luke into the bathroom, and is leaning against the door, staring up at the chandelier too.

‘I gotta go.’ Luke suddenly says. He remembers. He needed to piss. He walks towards the toilet, doesn’t bother with the seat and unbuckles his belt.

‘You gotta do what you gotta do.’ He hears Calum mumble.

When he’s done, Luke tucks himself back into his boxers. He flushes the toilet and turns to Calum, who’s still leaning against the door, looking up. He leaves his jeans unbuckled as he walks towards his friend. Calum lowers his head to look back at Luke. He looks him in the eyes, and suddenly that’s all there is.

Calum’s dark brown eyes. Those beautiful, deep brown orbs that could swallow him whole if he stared into them long enough.

Luke steps closer. He wants to see them from up closer.

‘Luke.’ Calum whispers. He can feel Calum’s breath on his lips, that’s how close he is now. He didn’t even notice he was closing in so much, but now he can feel Calum’s body heat radiating off of him and it makes his heart beat faster.

‘Your eyes are very much beautiful.’ Luke whispers back. He can hear Calum swallow heavily.

‘Yours too.’

Luke closes in even more, until his forehead is touching Calum’s. His fingers seek the brunet’s, and once he finds them he is amazed by how warm his skin feels.

And how warm Luke himself feels. And how warm the room suddenly got. And how much he wants to kiss his friend.

He’s gonna do it.

‘I’m going to kiss you.’ Luke simply states. ‘Right now. Yes?’

‘Yes.’ Calum answers immediately. It sounds almost desperate, like Calum has been waiting for this all night. Luke leans in, and before he’s ready he feels Calum’s plum lips on his. At first it’s just a peck. Just a soft, innocent kiss. But then Luke feels it. This warmth. This feeling in the pit of his stomach. Again. He needs it again.

He places his hands on Calum’s cheeks, pulls him closer and presses his lips onto Calum’s with more force this time. Calum kisses him back. He turns Luke around, slams his back into the door and presses his body up against Luke’s. Luke gasps, and Calum takes the opportunity to shove his tongue into Luke’s mouth. It’s warm and wet and sweet and everything Luke wants.

No, not everything. He wants more.

Calum’s lips leave his, only to slide down to his neck. Luke feels how his friend sucks on his neck, bites him softly and then not so softly.

Luke moans. Sounds are spilling from his mouth and he doesn’t know how to stop them. He doesn’t _want_ to stop them.

‘Calum.’ He whimpers and he feels Calum shove his t-shirt up his belly. Warm hands spread over his skin, feel him up, touch his nipples and his shoulders and all the other places he never let Calum touch before.

‘Fuck… you’re so hot Luke… jesus.’ He hears Calum moan into his ear. Then one of his hands slide down into his pants and starts palming Luke through his boxers. He moans again, his hips jerking forward towards Calum’s touch, and holy shit when did he become rock-hard? The friction is amazing, but Luke is so eager to find out what else Calum can make him feel.

‘Cal.’ Luke chokes out. ‘I… I want more…’

‘How much more?’ Calum asks, taking a second to make eye-contact with Luke again. His eyes absorb Luke again, make him feel weak and small and needy.

‘Everything. Give me everything.’ Luke says. Next thing he knows, Calum is dragging him out of the bathroom, towards his own bedroom. They stumble into the dark room, kissing and touching, losing their shirts and shoes and socks. Calum shuts and locks the door behind them while Luke walks over to his king-sized bed in the middle of his room. He turns around to seek Calum in the half-dark room, unsure what to do now. Calum walks over to him, kisses him again, warm and tender, before pushing him down onto his bed.

Calum crawls over Luke, places his hands on Luke’s knees and pushes them apart. He lies down in between Luke’s spread legs, making the boy feel completely taken-over by Calum. He’s so close now, closer than Calum has ever been to Luke. And he never wants it to stop.

‘Cal.’ Luke moans. Calum’s skin is warm and soft against his. Luke’s hands move over the boys chest, arms and back, feeling the muscles flex under his touch. Calum’s hips grind against his own, causing delicious friction against his dick.

‘You’re so beautiful, holy shit.’ Luke chokes out. Calum cuts him off by pushing his lips against Luke’s again for a short kiss. His hands travel down to Luke’s pants, sliding them down Luke’s long legs along with his boxers.

‘You too.’ Luke quickly says when he sees Calum move up on the bed again. He feels small and insecure now, being on display like this. They make eye contact, and Calum nods. He takes off his pants and boxers slowly before climbing over to Luke again, crawling in between his legs. The second he feels Calum _there_ , he lets out a loud moan. He can feel e _verything._

They’re naked. Completely naked. Luke can feel Calum, Calum can feel Luke. They don’t talk, just exchange soft moans and whimpers as they move against each other, touch each other, get to know each other’s bodies. It’s the weirdest thing in the world to Luke, being able to touch Calum this way. Being granted permission to touch him in the most intimate places. But it’s the best thing as well.

Calum pushes himself up a little and wraps his fingers around Luke’s dick. He groans, his back arching to Calum’s touch. He’s so hard it’s painful, and now his friend is stroking him softly and… is that Calum’s head going down?

Luke isn’t sure he can handle a blowjob. Not now that he’s already so worked up. But he can’t possibly protest when he feels Calum’s soft lips leave kisses and kitten licks all over his shaft and balls. Luke moans and clutches the sheets with his fists, needing something to anchor him.

Calum takes Luke into his mouth, and it’s warm and wet and the feeling of Calum’s tongue swirling around the tip makes him feel weak. He bobs his head slowly, moving along with the hand he still has on Luke’s dick. Every move he makes is so sensual it makes Luke dizzy.

And then Luke feels it. Calum’s slender finger traveling down, past his hard cock, past his things, between his ass cheeks.

He gasps when Calum pushes a finger to his hole.

‘Yes.’ He chokes out. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s getting himself into, all he knows it that he wants it. Now. ‘Please, Cal, please…’

Calum pulls off of him and sits up straight again.

‘Shh baby, I will.’

And _baby_. Fireworks are going off behind Luke’s eyelids as he closes his eyes. He hears a slick sound, then feels Calum’s finger push against his hole.

‘Relax.’ Calum whispers. ‘Just relax baby. Let me feel you. Please baby, I wanna feel inside…’

Luke whimpers at Calum’s words. He tries his hardest to relax, being helped out by Calum who’s still stroking him softly, and sooner than he though would be possible he feels Calum’s finger going in.

It goes further from there on. Luke relaxes more, Calum adds more fingers. He’s up to three when he curls them in such a way that makes Luke cry out and arch his back. The most amazing feeling rushes through his fragile body as Calum does it again, and again, and again. Luke is being pushed towards the edge faster than he has ever been before. He has no idea what Calum’s doing, but it’s working.

But then Calum is taking his fingers out.

‘No, Cal, so close…’ Luke mumbles, releasing the sheets from his fists.

‘Don’t worry Lukey I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard.’ Calum huskily answers. He crawls up higher and kisses Luke again, more forceful this time. Luke loves it, pulling Calum closer and opening his mouth for him. After some making out Calum pulls back.

‘Get on your stomach.’ He whispers. Luke obeys, turning around and lying on his stomach on the soft sheets. He might’ve falling asleep if it wasn’t for the aching need to cum and Calum’s hands pushing his legs apart.

He hears the slick sound again, then feels Calum’s hands pushing his ass cheeks apart. And then it’s happening all of a sudden. He feels Calum pushing into him, in one fluent movement. Luke cries out in pain, clenching the sheets in his fists. Calum is bigger than his fingers, and it hurts more than he thought it would. He feels Calum shelter Luke’s body with his own, placing his hands on Luke’s wrists, his sweaty chest against Luke’s sweaty back.

‘Relax baby. You’re doing so well.’ He whispers in Luke’s ear.

‘M-move.’ Luke chokes out. It still hurts, but he knows that Calum can make him feel the same way his fingers could with his dick and he needs it now.

Calum starts thrusting, slowly at first and then faster and faster. Luke’s body is shaking, moving with Calum, trying to get him to find the spot that makes Luke go crazy.

And then suddenly he hits it. Luke cries out again, moaning and whimpering against the sheets, begging Calum to keep going. Calum speeds up, the sound of skin slapping skin filing the room, forming a dirty soundtrack along with their pants and moans.

Calum slips an arm under Luke’s belly and pulls him up further, slamming into him. Luke let’s himself be dominated by his friend, laying almost limp in Calum’s arm. And he keeps hitting that spot.

‘I’m gonna cum.’ Luke chokes out, his thighs beginning to spasm.

‘Come for me Luke.’ Calum almost growls at him.

‘Cal… I’m gonna cum for you… o my god… I’m cumming… shit!’

Luke cums between himself and the sheets, harder than he’s ever cum before. He shakes and cries and moans and it’s all so intense, he barely feels Calum come inside of him.

But then Calum is pulling out and sighing heavily, rolling off of Luke onto the matrass next to him.

‘Fuck… Luke…’ Calum mumbles. But Luke is suddenly so freaking tired, and he feels Calum’s cum leaking out of his ass, and he smells sex and sweat and Calum and he just wants to sleep.

‘Cuddle.’ Is the only word Luke can think of. Then he feels Calum’s strong arms around him, pulling him close. His eyes close, and the last thing he hears is the vague bass from the living room mixed with Calum’s soft breathing.


	2. Soothe Me

_Placed on the path they’ve paved for you,  
Life pushes you along_

_Without the chance to stop and think,  
If it’s right where you belong_

 

_-_

When Calum wakes up he feels hot.

There’s a body pressed up against his, the sheets tightly wrapped around them making Calum feel like a real life burrito. Sun is booming through the open curtains, warming him up even more.

Calum carefully moves the sheets off of him, trying not to wake the body next to him. The first thing he notices: he’s in Luke’s bed.

Then: He’s naked.

Shit. Did he bring somebody over to Luke’s bed last night to fuck? Luke’s going to kill him…

But as he turns to look at the person sleeping next to him, his heart stops.

No. Not again. Not with him.

Luke is lying next to him, his skin illuminated by the morning sunlight. He looks freaking beautiful, bathing in the sunlight, his shiny blond hair flat on his head, part of his back and butt visible. He looks extremely peaceful, sleeping like a baby, clutching what’s left of the blankets around him.

It takes everything in Calum not to reach out and stroke his broad shoulders, not to crawl up against him and hug him close and kiss him until he wakes up and they can just live happily ever after…

Calum’s eye gets drawn to a place on the sheets, just below Luke’s butt.

Blood. There’s blood on the sheets.

Fucking hell.

Luke is straight, Calum’s sure.

And _Calum_ is straight. Right?!

Luke would never have done this voluntarily. Did Calum push him? Or did they really get _that_ drunk last night?

Calum pushes himself from the bed, looking around the room for clues of what happened last night. The second he’s on his feet a massive headache kicks in, and he’s got the answer to at least one of his questions. He groans softly, tip-toeing over to the foot of Luke’s bed where he finds his boxers and his jeans. He puts them om quickly, then finds his shirt by the door and pulls it over his head. He grabs his black Vans from the floor, no time to put them on, and then tries to open the door.

Fuck. It’s locked.

He doesn’t know what to do with this situation, but he needs to get out _right now_. Where did he leave that damn key? He feels his pockets… no, empty.

He starts looking around on the floor.

There, close to the crack of the door. He grabs the little shiny key from the floor and unlocks the door as quietly as he can. He steps out of the room, into the cold hallway, and suddenly feels like he can breathe again. He takes one last look at naked sleeping Luke, looking like an angel tangled up in his white sheets, before closing the door and turning around. He makes his way through the hallway, down the marble stairs, towards the heavy double front door of the house.

‘Would you look at that. Doing the walk of shame, Cal-pal?’ He hears somebody say before he can make his way out. Calum turns around quickly, spotting Damon with a hungover written all over his face leaning against the door to the living room.

‘Yeah, uhm, I guess.’ Calum mumbles, trying to smile a little. He likes Damon, he’s an okay guy, but right now Calum doesn’t feel like talking to anybody at all.

‘Who’s the lucky girl?’ Damon asks with a grin on his face.

‘Oh uhm… Julie.’ Calum mumbles the first name he can think about. Blond, green-eyed gorgeous Julie… dind’t he talk to her last night at some point?

‘Nice.’ Damon comments, grinning and rubbing his hands together. ‘She any good?’

‘Yeah, sure. She’s fine.’ Calum want’s to roll his eyes at the guy. Why is sex the only thing those jocks can think about? Okay, he’s a jock too, being on the soccer team with Luke and Ashton and all, but he doesn’t see fucking girls as his ultimate goal in life.

 _No, you clearly don’t as you fucked a boy last night._ A voice in his head nags. Shut up, damn it.

‘Cal? You okay? You need some water or something?’ Damon asks, his facial expression changing from playful to a bit worried. Calum realises he haven’t moved and just stood there by the door thinking about jocks and staring into space.

‘Uhm, no, I gotta go home. Tell Michael to text me when you see him okay?’

Damon nods, and Calum opens the front door, walking out on his bare feet. The little marble stairs leading to the front door feel cool under his feet despite the sun shining brightly over them. Calum wonders what time it is and, for the first time this morning, how bad he actually looks.

He makes his way over the gravel parking lot, past Luke’s shiny black BMW cabrio, another gift from his father. He takes one last look over his shoulder at Luke’s mansion, trying to ignore the nagging feeling that he should stay, and comfort Luke, and help him understand. But there’s still a small change Luke will wake up and not remember anything at all, and if that’s the case they can both go on with their lives and Calum will just pretend this never even happened…

He sighs, walks through the heavy iron gates at the beginning of Luke’s driveway onto the pavement and starts making his way towards the bus stop so he can put his shoes on and go home.

 

-

 

Calum showers for at least forty minutes. Michael texts him twice, but he can’t bring himself to respond. His mother has been banging on the bathroom door twenty minutes ago, trying to get him to stop wasting water, but Calum is finally remembering things and he doesn’t want it to stop.

He and Luke talked in the kitchen. He was outside for a while at first, watching some of his friends act like idiots in the pool before realising his cup was empty. He found Luke in the kitchen, and they talked for a while, and he thinks maybe Julie was there too.

Then they went upstairs. Calum doesn’t remember why. Did they go upstairs purely to fuck? Or did they do something else and ended up having sex? He remembers shiny light, Luke’s body against his, lips on his and hands roaming his back. And he remembers the way Luke sounded when he came. A broken moan, sobbing, whimpering. How _tight_ his best friend felt around him. And Luke wanting to cuddle.

Everything else is blank.

Calum groans, rubbing his face again. The shower helps a little, but he still feels like shit. His head hurts and his mouth feels dry and he’s hungry as hell.

Calum shuts off the shower and steps out. He quickly dries himself with a fluffy towel, then leaves the bathroom and walks to his room. He puts on clean boxers, sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt.

The fresh clothes helps him feel a bit better. Next mission: get food. And painkillers.

Calum walks down the stairs into his living room. It’s always a bit weird, coming home from Luke’s place. He lives in a fucking palace, and Calum’s house is small and domestic. He loves it though: it’s cosy. If he was Luke, he’d feel lonely too. You could get lost in a house like his.

When he walks into the kitchen, he’s met with another surprise. Mali-Koa, his sister, is leaning against the counter, drinking a cup of tea.

‘Mali!’

If there’s anyone in the world he would like to talk to right now, it’s his older sister.

‘Hey little brother.’ His sister says, smiling brightly at him. She puts down het cup and embraces him. Calum hugs her back tightly, burying his face in her neck, making her giggle. He’s been missing his sister ever since she went off to college last year. He only sees her in the holidays now, and it’s been hard on him. When they were younger, he and Mali used to do everything together. They were so close, and now there’s a state border between them.

‘What are you doing home?’ Calum asks.

‘I missed you guys so much.’ Mali says, placing a hand on her heart. ‘I could get a cheap flight and a week off so I’ll be around this week.’

‘That’s great.’ Calum says, smiling at his sister. He feels way better knowing Mali is gonna be here the coming week. Whatever’s gonna come his way: he knows it’s gonna be easier now that he has his sister to talk to.

‘I’m glad I’m seeing you after you’ve showered.’ Mali jokes, poking Calum in the belly. ‘Mom told me Luke was giving a party. How was it?’

Calum’s happy expression fades and he feels his cheeks flushing thinking about Luke and his hands on him, Luke’s lips, the sounds he made… Luke in his fragile state this morning in the bed.

‘Cal? What’s wrong?’ Mali asks, looking at him with a worried expression on her face.

‘Is mom home?’ Calum asks before saying anything else. He and Mali have no secrets for each other, but he would rather not have his mother know about his sexual whereabouts.

‘No, she went to the store to get pastries for lunch.’ Mali answers, pushing herself up and taking a seat on the counter, her cup of tea in hand. Her sweet voice changes to a more threatening one and she frowns a little. ‘Calum, what did you do?’

Calum sighs and grabs a chair from the dining table, sitting on it with his legs around the backrest and his head resting on his arms.

‘I slept with someone.’ He mumbles, staring at the ground rather than at his sisters face.

‘O my god, did you knock a girl up?’ Mali breaths out, clearly too curious to let Calum finish.

‘No Mali! Jesus. I would never just have unprotected sex.’

_Except that you did last night. With Luke._

Goddamn it, stupid-ass conscious.

‘Okay, so, what’s wrong then?’ Mali asks, tapping her mug with her red-painted nails. ‘Did you not want to sleep with her? O my gosh, did she have a boyfriend? Did she…’

‘Mali would you let me finish?’ Calum interrupts a little annoyed, shutting up his sister effectively.

‘Right. Sorry. Go ahead.’ Mali answers, nodding. After a short silence Calum speaks up again.

‘I slept with a guy.’ Calum mumbles. He’s still looking at the ground, but he doesn’t need to see it to know that Mali looks surprised.  She stops asking questions, and there’s another long silence until his sister speaks up.

‘Again?’

Calum’s mind involuntarily tracks back to one particular moment last year on vacation with Luke, Michael and Ashton. They had been out all night, partying their asses off in Melbourne, trying to get Luke laid for the first time. After he had gone back to the hotel with some girl, Calum had lost sight of Ashton and Michael a little.

That’s when he saw him. A beautiful, tanned guy standing at the bar, eying Calum. He had blonde dreads and the prettiest green eyes Calum had ever seen. Finn had been his name, and he had danced and flirted with Calum for what seemed like hours before he took him back to his apartment. It was the first time Calum described another guy as “beautiful”.

Sure, Calum was trashed, but he was sober enough to sleep with the guy. He had had sex with girls before, but never had it felt the way it felt when he entered Finn.

The morning after Calum was as confused as ever. He didn’t want to think about what it meant, didn’t want to think about what the consequences might be. He went back to his own hotel without waking Finn, made up some story about a girl he fucked and went on with his life. The only person he ever told was Mali. Not even Luke knows, and Luke knows every single thing about Calum.

‘Yes. Again.’ Calum sigs. ‘But is wasn’t just any guy Mali… It was with Luke.’

‘Luke?!’ Mali almost shouts.

Since Finn, Calum hasn’t been attracted to any guys. He wrote it of as some drunken mistake, but now it’s becoming awfully clear that last night wasn’t a mistake. Luke wasn’t a mistake.

‘I liked it.’ Calum finally looks up at his sister. It feels weird and at the same time right to say it out loud. ‘I really liked it Mali.’

‘Oh dear.’ Mali mumbles. ‘How about Luke?’

‘I’m a fucking idiot.’ Calum groans. ‘I woke up this morning next to him and I really freaked out, so I snuck out and left. We didn’t even talk.’

‘Well he obviously has feelings for you, since he slept with you and all.’

‘We were _so drunk_ Mali you have no idea. Maybe he just did it cause, in his drunken state, he confused friendship feelings for love feelings. Luke’s not gay.’

‘How are you so sure?’ His sister asks, raising her eyebrows. ‘A year ago you weren’t gay either. Now look where you are. You’ve slept with two guys and I really think you should reconsider your sexuality Cal.’

‘I’m not gay!’ Calum shouts, louder than he intended to. He stands up from the chair he’s been sitting on so quickly it falls over and slams to the ground. Mali eyes widen a little, and she jumps off the counter.

‘I’m not gay.’ Calum repeats. ‘I’m…I’m not… I swear Mali…’

‘Cal.’ She shuts him up, pulling him in for a tight hug. ‘You know I don’t care. You know mom and dad won’t care, they’ll still love you. And your friends won’t care either. You’re still you. You’re still my baby brother who I love to death.’

‘But _he_ will care.’ Calum says. His sisters words brought him to tears, he’s shaking and crying against her shoulder. ‘He’ll think I took advantage of him. That I used him to clarify my sexuality.’

‘Luke will know better than that, sweetheart. You’ve known him your whole life.’ Mali says softly. ‘It’s gonna be okay Cal, you just need to talk to him.’


	3. Help Me

_These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel  
The way I feel, I’m standing still_

_And nothing else matters now you’re not here,  
So where are you?_

_I’ve been calling you  
I’m missing you_

_-_

 

 

Luke wakes up with a pain in the ass. Literally.

He groans, fisting the sheets and trying to sit up straight. What the hell is going on? Why is his ass hurting so much?

Luke feels warm. Sunlight is booming through his open curtains, making his bedroom look a bit dream-like. He sits up, his sheets falling onto his lap.

He’s naked. And his ass _really_ hurts…

And then it comes back to him. All of it, within seconds. Being drunk, dancing, talking to Julie in the kitchen. Captain Calum. Needing to go to the bathroom. Kissing Calum in the bathroom, being dragged to his room, undressing with Calum.

Luke feels his face flush. He slept with Calum. Calum took his virginity. Well… kind of.

Images of Calum’s flustered face make their way back into Luke’s mind. The way Calum touched him, felt him up, kissed him, licked him… And how he finally pushed himself into Luke. How he rocked against him, so deep…

Luke let’s himself fall back against the pillows on his king-sized bed.

No. This didn’t happen. He refuses to believe this happened. He didn’t sleep with Calum. He didn’t let himself be fucked by Calum…

He remembers going to sleep. Luke’s hand travels to his ass, carefully feeling. Right, he definitely didn’t shower last night. The evidence is right there.

And where the hell is Calum?

Luke sits up again. His head feels like it’s gonna explode.

He stands up slowly, pulling his sheets from his bed. He might as well throw those in the washing machine right away. Then his eyes fixate on a spot on the sheets.

Blood. There’s blood on his sheets. Did Luke bleed on the sheets?

He blushes heavily. Where is Calum goddamn it? He needs Calum.

Luke looks around, spotting his clothes at the foot of his bed and by the door. Calum’s clothes are nowhere to be seen. He wouldn’t leave, right? If this really happened, Calum would stay and try to make Luke feel better. They’d fix this together…

Luke makes his way towards his closet and pulls out a shirt that’s long enough to cover him. He doesn’t want to put on boxers right now, not in this… state.

The opens his bedroom door, which is unlocked. Another sign that Calum might not be in his house anymore. Luke makes his way to the bathroom first. Whether Calum’s still here or not, Luke needs a shower.

He throws off the shirt, locks the door behind him and turns on the light. Memories come back to him once again as he looks up at the chandelier. Sparkly lights. Calum’s eyes. Kissing against the door.

Luke tries to shrug it off while turning on the shower. He steps under the hot water. It makes him feel way better, but there’s still a huge nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach, making him feel insecure and terrible.

If Calum left, he’s clearly not interested.

Wait, is Luke interested? Did he wanted this? They were just drunk, right? A drunken mistake. Those happen all the time.

But as Luke tries to convince himself that it was nothing, it becomes awfully clear that he’s bullshitting himself. He knows how he felt last night. Yes, he was drunk, but a feeling like that can’t be faked by intoxication. The way he wanted Calum couldn’t be faked by intoxication.

But Calum. He clearly doesn’t think so. He wouldn’t have left if he didn’t.

When Luke steps out of the shower he feels even worse. No shower can wash away the fact that Calum has been inside him.

Luke blushes again at that idea when he walks over to the bathroom mirror. For the first time he looks at himself, and he’s shocked. There’s hickeys and bite-marks all over his neck. Calum has been _inside_ of him. In the most intimate way.

Luke feels like crying while he dries himself off. He puts the shirt back on, and makes his way back into his bedroom. The sheets are still lying around on the ground, along with his clothes. There’s still blood on the sheets. It all still happened.

Luke grabs his clothes from the floor and throws them somewhere in a corner of the room. He puts on clean boxers and sweatpants and pulls the matrass cover off of his bed. Along with the duvet he walks onto the hallway, towards the laundry room. After stuffing the sheets into the washing machine and turning it on he makes his way downstairs, into the living room.

It’s a complete havoc.

The floor is covered in sticky left over alcohol, there’s red cups everywhere, the furniture is wrecked and one of the glass doors towards the backyard is shattered. Panties and bras are floating in the pool, there’s throw up and shattered alcohol bottles here and there and in the middle of it all stand Michael, now with blue hair, and Ashton, both with a garbage bag in hand.

‘It looks worse than it is.’ Michael says when he spots Luke.

‘Did you dye your hair last night?’ Luke just asks.

Michaels hand flies to his hair and he grins. ‘Yeah. Do you like it? It makes me feel like a punk-rock smurf. Mason did it too.’

‘I need some fucking aspirin.’ Luke growls, ignoring the mess in his living room and making his way into the kitchen. Some guys from the soccer team are gathered around the kitchen isle, eating left over pizza and take-away Chinese.

‘Morning Luke!’ Max, one of Luke’s friends, shouts louder than Luke can handle. ‘Who went ballistic on your neck last night?’

Some other guys turn around and holler at Luke as he opens one of the dark wooden cupboards and pulls out the first-aid kit where he keeps stashes of aspirin. Luke blushes heavily at the mention of the hickeys.

‘Julie.’ He mumbles without giving it much thought. It wouldn’t be weird for him to say her name, the whole soccer team knows how desperate she is for him.

‘Jeez she’s been busy.’ Max comments, making the other boys laugh.

Luke just shrugs, bending down at the sink and swallowing two aspirin.

‘Where’s Calum?’ He asks then, turning around.

‘Damon said he was doing the walk of shame this morning.’ Isaac says, grinning. ‘He’s been sleeping with a girl too.’

Luke feels like he’s been punched in the stomach.

Calum told them he was with some girl. Calum left this morning. Calum doesn’t want Luke. Their friendship is over. Luke ruined it all by being needy and taking advantage of Calum in his drunken state.

‘I want you out.’ Luke says.

‘What?’ Max reacts, raising his eyebrows at Luke.

‘I want you out!’ Luke shouts louder than he planned on. ‘All of you! Now!’

His friends look at him like Luke is going crazy, and he feels a rage build up deep inside him. But before he can actually go crazy, Ashton appears in the kitchen.

‘Okay guys, parties over. Time to go home. We all wanna throw up and sleep off this hangover. Luke’s cranky as shit and you destroyed his house.’

The guys shrug and mumble some goodbye’s as they follow Ashton to the front door. Luke makes his way back into the living room, walks to one of the couches that’s been flipped over and goes to lie down on its backrest that’s now on the ground, between glass shatters and wine stains. After wishing to die about five hundred times he slips into a sleep that’s so deep he doesn’t even wake up when Ashton carries him to his room and leaves him a note with phone numbers to call to have his door and furniture fixed.

 

-

 

The next Monday Luke’s not at school.

Calum has been putting the talking-to off cause he’s basically a coward. When Ashton and Michael asked where he was the morning after the party he lied, saying he had to pick up Mali from the airport. His friends were way too enthusiastic to doubt his excuse: they love Mali.

During lunch period they sit at their usual spot, sunbathing and eating some sandwiches. The soccer guys are talking about the party and who did who, and everybody is going crazy about Michaels new hair dye which he apparently did together with Mason, who pulls off the blue just as nicely as Mikey, but Calum is not paying attention. All he can think about is Luke.

Calum doesn’t like it when Luke’s not at school. It reminds him of three months ago, when Luke didn’t show up for class or soccer practice for a whole week. He didn’t pick up his phone or gave any signs of life. It ended with Michael throwing a rock through the one of Luke’s windows, setting off the alarm and breaking in. They found Luke on the couch in his underwear, eating cereal and staring at the TV. He smelled like decay and looked even worse.

All he could do was scream that his father didn’t love him anymore. The boys had to force him to take a shower and get dressed. They literally dragged him out of his house to the KFC, to get him some real food and fresh air. After long, emotional talks the whole weekend long, Luke started to look like himself again.

It was a scary time. Sometimes, Calum thought Luke was gonna hurt himself. He couldn’t stand the idea of that, so he took Luke home with him a lot and showed up every other morning with a plan for the day to get Luke to realise his life could be better if he tried.

And now that Luke’s finally feeling a bit better, Calum had to go and fuck it up again. He’ll be lucky if Luke ever wants to see him again.

Lunch period is almost over when Calum suddenly hears somebody scream his name from the other side of the courtyard. His head follows the sounds, and he spots a furious Julie storming his way. He stands up from the bench he was sitting on, and Julie stops right in front of him. The courtyard falls silent, and suddenly it feels like Calum is part of some play he didn’t rehearsed.

‘Calum fucking Hood!’ Julie shouts. ‘And where is that little shit Hemmings?!’

‘Wow, calm down Julie. What’s wrong?’ Calum asks confused.

‘Oh please, don’t play dumb! Why the _hell_ would you and Luke tell people we had a threesome last Friday at the party?! I haven’t slept with either of you! Why are you spreading bullshit?!’

Calum want’s to answer, but he’s too hurt to form correct words.

Luke told people he slept with Julie. He’s obviously ashamed of what he and Calum did. And Calum said the same to Damon… and now people think they had a threesome. Holy shit.

‘Jesus Julie, calm down. Having second thoughts or something?’ Mason comments from behind Calum, making the guys laugh.

‘Oh shut the fuck up you fucking smurf!’ She yells at Mason. Her cheeks are turning red and she looks like she might explode.

‘ _You_ shut the fuck up, stop being so psycho. Don’t drag Calum into your regret.’ Damon says, putting his arm around Calum and dragging him with.

‘Yeah you on your period or something?’ He hears Max add, followed by laughter and screaming from Julie.

Calum feels bad for the girl, he really does, but he can’t just tell everyone the truth. If Luke didn’t hate his guts already, that would do the trick.

So he shuts his mouth and follows Damon back into the school hallway, towards their next class.

 

-

 

The next day, Luke isn’t in soccer practice. After Calum’s chemistry class, Ashton and Michael find him at his locker.

‘You’ve been texting Luke lately?’ Ashton asks Calum when most of the hallway is emptied out. The guys are leaning against the lockers next to Calum’s.

‘No, haven’t spoken to him since the party. I thought you would’ve.’ Calum says, shutting his locker and staring at his friends.

‘You’re his best friend Cal, if you haven’t, why would we have?’ Ashton says, looking at him weirdly. ‘Did something happen at the party you’re not telling us? Cause I’m worried.’

‘No.’ Calum answers too quickly. He knows it’s no use. These guys have been his best friends for years now, they know when he’s lying.

‘Right. Whatever you say. We’re cutting class the rest of the day though, we’re gonna see Luke.’ Michael announces.

‘Okay.’ Calum simply says. He swings his backpack over his shoulder and follows his friends towards the school’s parking lot.

‘I went by his house yesterday to check on him cause he was still sleeping when we left Friday, and the night lock was on the door.’ Ashton comments.

‘The night lock?’ Calum repeats. He swallows heavily. Luke never puts on the night lock. The night lock keeps even them out, it can only be unlocked from inside the house.

‘Yeah. You can see why I’m worried.’

Calum nods. He can’t believe himself. Why would he just leave Luke alone after Friday? If anything happened to him, Calum will never forgive himself.

They make their way onto the parking lot, towards Ashton’s SUV. Michael rides shotgun, Calum takes the backseat. Ashton starts his car and drives towards the exit of the parking lot.

‘So did you and Luke have a threesome with Julie? It’s all everybody talks about.’ Michael mumbles. ‘The way she talked to you yesterday… she seemed pretty determined it didn’t happen Cal. I don’t wanna…’

‘I slept with Luke.’ Calum interrupts. Ashton hits the breaks so hard it sends Calum face-first into the back of Ashton’s chair. He groans and rubs his nose, falling back into his chair.

‘Auch… I guess I deserved that.’ Calum mumbles.

‘You slept with Luke?’ Ashton says sternly. ‘As in, with Luke? Alone?’

‘Yes. We had sex.’ Calum mumbles. ‘And then I left him alone and went home cause I was freaking out. I don’t think Luke’s gay and he probably things I took advantage of him. And now he hasn’t contacted any of us in days.’

Nobody says anything as Ashton starts driving again, faster than ever before.

 

-

 

When Ashton pulls up in Luke’s gravel driveway the three boys hurry out of the car. Calum runs up to the front door, pushing his key into the keyhole and trying to open it.

‘It’s still on goddamn night lock.’ He growls. He starts banging on the door, shouting Luke’s name. After a while they’re still standing there getting no reaction at all, so Michael speaks up.

‘I’m all for throwing another rock through the window, you know that, but I think we should try around the back.’

Ashton nods at Michael, and they follow him to the left side of the house. The boys are tensed while they walk over the small gravel path made between the walls of the house and the stone wall surrounding Luke’s mansion. It’s clear that nobody has been cleaning this part: there are still red cups lying around.

‘If Luke wouldn’t even contact us I’m sure he hasn’t taken the time to fix the back door.’ Michael mumbles. They walk over a small grass field towards the pool. One of the glass doors is still completely shattered. There’s a wrecked couch shoved in front of the door to somewhat close it off. Michael easily pushes the couch away, and it makes a horrible loud sound as it scratches over the laminate floor of Luke’s living room. The room is still a complete ground zero from the party: the furniture isn’t fixed, the floor is sticky from the dried up alcohol left-overs and through the door towards the kitchen Calum can see decaying pizza and Chinese food on the counter.

In the middle of the room, on the floor, lies a hoverboard. Except it’s completely destroyed, like someone has been going ballistic on it with a baseball bat.

‘What the hell is that.’ Michael mumbles. The boys step into Luke’s living room.

‘We’re gonna find him. Check the kitchen, the guest rooms, the bathrooms, everywhere.’ Calum orders. Ashton nods and makes his way towards the kitchen, shouting Luke’s name. Michael and Calum run into the hallway and up the stairs. With every door Calum throws open he feels more and more nauseous. What if Luke did something really terrible to himself? What if he’s not even at home, but somewhere else, doing something really terrible to himself?

He opens Luke’s bedroom, which is empty as well. Memories of their night flow back into his mind, and he feels himself panic even more. He can’t lose Luke. He fucking loves Luke.

‘Where are you goddamn it.’ Calum whispers, his voice shaking.

He runs back into the hallway, meeting Michael in the middle.

‘Nothing.’ Michael says, the look on his face matching Calum’s panicked one.

‘Did you check the game room?’ They suddenly ask in sync. They stare at each other for .2 seconds before running towards the game room. Michael tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

‘Luke!’ Calum shouts. The sound is as hopeless and pained as he feels. He starts ramming his fists into the door and shouting for Luke while Michael shouts for Ashton to get up here. Calum pulls on the door handle has hard as he can, but it’s no use. They only have a key to the front door and to Luke’s bedroom: and Luke knows that. He effectively tried to keep them out.

Ashton runs through the hallway towards Calum and Michael.

‘The door is locked!’ Calum yells, tears streaming down his cheeks.

‘Stand back.’ Ashton orders, pushing Calum behind him. Ashton is easily the strongest out of the four of them, and with arms like his it wouldn’t surprise Calum if he could snap someone’s neck like a wet twig.

Ashton takes a few steps back, then flexes his arm and runs towards the door. He rams his shoulder into it with all he’s got, shouting  from the pain in the process. The door shakes, but stays closed. Ashton takes more steps back, runs faster and slams the door again. Calum can see the look on his face: he can see how much it must hurt. But he doesn’t stop. Ashton keeps ramming himself into the door until it suddenly makes a loud, cracking sound and flies open.

Calum pushes past him, taking in the trashed gaming room. The arcade machines are down on the ground, broken. The table tennis table is flipped on his side. The flatscreen TV is lying on the floor with three huge cracks in it. And in the corner of the room, on the matrass, lies a curled up blonde boy in only a t-shirt and boxers.

‘Luke!’ Calum shouts. He jumps over the arcade machines, past the table and let’s himself fall to his knees on the matrass. He feels it before he sees it: big holes in the matrass. Like someone has been cutting it open with rampant movements.

Then his eyes fall on big butcher knife on the ground next to the matrass. And a half-empty strip of pill’s next to it.

‘Ashton!’ He shouts. ‘Michael! Ashton! O my god!’

He grabs Luke by his shoulders and pull him close while Ashton and Michael storm into the room. Ashton grabs the strip of pills and starts reading it while Michael pushes the knife away from Luke.

‘Luke, baby, please, I love you. Please… Please…’ Calum cries out while his hands fly over Luke’s body. His wrists, his legs, his neck, his thighs, his face.

He’s not hurt. No cut marks, no blood. But Luke’s body is limp in his arms. His hands find their way to Luke’s neck, feeling his pulse.

‘I feel pulse.’ Calum says, his voice shaking, more tears streaming down his face and landing on Luke.

‘They’re just sleeping pills.’ Ashton breaths out. ‘It’s fine, you can’t OD on these. He’ll just sleep for a very long time.’

‘You’re alive.’ Calum whispers. He pulls Luke’s head onto his lap and starts softly stroking his hair and face. Calum’s crying uncontrollably. Michael and Ashton leave the room and come back a few minutes later with a blanket and water and bread.

‘I have no idea when he took these, but one equals about two hours. He took five, so we should count on ten hours.’ Ashton tells the boys once they’re seated on the matrass. ‘He can go ten hours without food or water so I don’t think we have to worry.’

‘Fucking hell.’ Michael breaths out, tears finally leaving his eyes too. ‘Ash, is your shoulder okay?’

‘I’ll be fine.’ Ashton answers. ‘Don’t worry about me. Worry about what got Luke like this.’

Calum feels so fucking guilty. He did this to Luke. He drove Luke into destroying the game room and taking sleep pills. They couldn’t kill him, but did Luke know that? Did he intend to end his live?

Even when Ashton and Michael come sit by his sides and keep telling him this can’t be all his fault, Calum doesn’t stop crying.

 

-

 

An hour and a half later, Luke starts making noises. Little groans and incoherent words fall from his lips. His head that’s still resting on Calum’s lap starts moving around.

‘Is he waking up?’ Michael asks to no one in particular. He gets his answer when Luke’s eyes open a little. He blinks a few times, but opens them completely then.

‘Cal.’ He whispers. ‘Mikey. Ash.’

‘Hey Lukey.’ Calum whispers back, stroking his cheek softly. ‘We’re here.’

‘I don’t feel good.’ Luke states weakly.

They help Luke to sit up straight, but before they can even start to talk Luke forces his body away from his friends. He throws up all over the blanket thrown over him, coughing and grabbing his stomach with his hand.

Calum shushes him and strokes his back through it all. Ashton tells them it’s normal, that it could be a side effect from taking so many sleeping pills.

‘I’m gonna get some crackers out of my car. Get Luke water and take him to his bed.’ Ashton tells them as he stands up and leaves the game room. Michael lifts Luke up from the matrass and carries him out of the game room while Calum pulls the duvet off of the sheets and goes to put it in the washing machine.

He walks back to Luke’s room, where Michael has tucked him in. The boys crawl into bed with Luke, each on one side. Luke is shaking and crying, trying to hide his face from his friends.

‘We love you Luke.’ Michael whispers. ‘Please don’t even do that again. We were so scared.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ Luke cries. Calum pulls him closer, stroking his hair softly.

‘Don’t be baby, it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry for leaving you Luke, I love you.’ He whispers in the boys ear.

‘It’s not your fault.’ Luke sobs. ‘It’s my d-dad. He send me a p-present with a card on it.’

Michael and Calum make eye-contact.

‘What kind of present?’ Michael asks. ‘And where is the card?’

Luke points shakily at his dresses in the corner of the room. Michael stands up from the bed and walks over to it, grabbing the postcard lying on Luke’s dresser. It says “Tokyo” in big pink letters against a blue background.

‘Your dad’s in Tokyo?’ Michael asks.

‘He used to c-call.’ Luke mumbles, his face buried in Calum’s chest. His still shaking and hiccupping from crying and throwing up. ‘Read it.’

Michael’s eyes fly over the lines before shaking his head and handing the card to Calum.

 

_Dear Luke,_

_Business is going great. I’m able to produce way more against low prices here in the wonderful Japan. Unfortunately, I’ll have to stay to keep an eye on my employers here, making sure they’ll do their job correctly. I will stay in Japan for an additional three months. I’m sure you’ll understand._

_Give your mother a call, will you?_

_Ps: Here’s a little something to keep you entertained. In Japan, they’re riding these things to school!_

‘Oh Luke… I’m so sorry.’ Calum says. He feels tears forming in his eyes, feeling terrible for his friend.

‘I smashed it too pieces, the hoverboard.’ Luke says, his voice getting angrier with every word. ‘How can he do this to me? What the hell do I need a hoverboard for?! I want a fucking father!’

Meanwhile Ashton entered the room again, crackers and a glass of water in his hand. ‘Lukey, you have to eat and drink something. When did you take those pills?’

‘Last night. Around 5 AM I think.’ Luke answers. Calum helps him sit up, and he takes a little sip of water and a bite of cracker before laying down again, grabbing Calum’s arm and forcing him to cuddle again.

‘Luke’s dad will be in Japan for another three months.’ Michael updates Ashton. ‘That’s the reason he… well…yeah.’

Ashton nods. ‘I see. Luke?’ He softly asks while sitting down at the foot of the bed and stroking Luke’s leg through the sheets. ‘Did you know that those pills couldn’t kill you?’

Calum’s heart stops.

‘Yeah.’ Luke answers.

Calum’s heart continues.

‘I just wanted to be gone for a while. I’m so sorry I scared you guys. I don’t have the right to give you heart attacks every time I feel a bit sad.’

‘You didn’t just feel a bit sad Luke, it must’ve been devastating.’ Michael says.

‘I fucking hate him.’ Luke mumbles. ‘I want to move out. I want to go away to college. This house is terrible.’

‘We’ll fix this Luke.’ Ashton says, crawling up the bed and laying down with the other boys. ‘You’ll be fine. We still have each other.’

‘I love you guys.’ Luke whispers. ‘I love you guys so much.’


	4. Love Me

_Wait, don’t tell me  
Heaven is a place on earth._

_-_

 

 

After a while Luke fell asleep again. Ashton, Michael and Calum spend the rest of the day mobbing the floor, cleaning up the kitchen and calling a guy for the door and the furniture. They ordered pizza, had dinner and made Luke eat a little when he woke up. They left the game room for what it was, since they couldn’t fix that devastation anyway.

Now Calum and Luke are cuddling in Luke’s bed. Michael and Ashton left with the promise of being there the next morning to take Luke and Calum to school.

Calum stayed. He and Luke both know they have some talking to do, plus Calum could never leave Luke alone after a night like the one Luke had.

‘Lukey?’ Calum asks, breaking the tensed silence they’ve been lying in for the past ten minutes.

‘Yeah?’

‘The knife I found… next to the matrass. Were you going to hurt yourself?’ Calum is scared of the answer, but he needs to know.

‘For a second, yes.’ Luke answers slowly. ‘But then I thought about you guys… and I just… I lost it on the matrass. Then I took the pills.’

Calum sighs deeply and hugs Luke closer. The silence returns for a while, until Luke speaks up again.

‘It’s not your fault you know.’ He says, softly stroking Calum’s arm. They’re curled up in a big pile of blankets, both only in their t-shirts and boxers. Luke’s the little spoon. ‘I don’t blame you for leaving. But can we just please stay best friends? I promise I’ll never mention it again. The… sex. That is.’

‘Of course we’re gonna stay best friends Luke… but I can’t promise I’ll never mention it again.’

Luke is silent for a while.

‘I’m sorry I took advantage of you Luke… I really am, but I can’t…’

‘Advantage of me? What are you talking about?’ Luke interrupts him while turning around in Calum’s arms so he can face him. Their lips are incredibly close again and it makes Calum nervous. ‘ _I_ came on to _you_ , remember? I thought you regretted it cause you left the next morning.’

‘Luke the only thing I regret it just that. I should’ve never left you like that. I just freaked out cause I thought _you_ would regret it. I was always so sure you were straight…’

‘Yeah, well, so was I.’ Luke mumbles. ‘It’s a bit scary to confess your sexuality is different from what you always thought it was, I guess. But what I do know is that I really, really like you. That I _love_ you. And that it felt amazing being with you like that. That I’ve never felt like that before with anyone, no girl or boy.’

‘Same.’ Calum whispers. Then he smiles at Luke. ‘Now who’s good at deep, meaningful conversations huh?’

Luke giggles. Then they’re silent for a while again, just staring at each other. The tension seems long gone.

‘Cal, have you ever done it before? I mean, you were quite aware of what you had to do and stuff.’ Luke asks then.

‘Yeah, I have.’ Calum whispers. ‘I’m sorry I kept it a secret from you… it was just so confusing. I slept with a guy on vacation in Melbourne last year. When you lost your v-card to that brown-haired chick?’

‘Seriously? You said you were with some girl.’ Luke mumbles.

‘Yeah, I know. It was dumb.’

‘Did he… did he do it to you like you did it to me?’ Luke asks, his cheeks turning red.

‘You mean did I bottom?’ Calum reacts, a small smile on his face. Luke nods.

‘No, I topped. I think that’s more my thing. But I wouldn’t know, I’m also at the very beginning of this.’

‘I want to figure this thing out. With you.’ Luke whispers.

Calum blushes heavily.

‘Me too. With you.’ Calum breaths out. They stare at each other for a while before Luke closes the distance between their lips and kisses Calum. Calum kisses him back tenderly, slowly forcing his tongue through Luke’s lips. He deepens the kiss, placing his hands on Luke’s cheeks, loving every second of kissing Luke.

And everything slows down. They undress each other. Their t-shirts and boxers end up beside the bed, and Calum ends up on top of Luke.

They’re grinding against each other, nothing but soft moans and heavy breaths escaping their lips. Calum’s hand slides down and grabs onto Luke’s hard-on, slowly stroking up and down while holding himself up above the other boy with his free arm.

‘Calum…’ Luke moans, his arms around Calum’s neck, making the most beautiful faces of bliss.

‘You’re so gorgeous Luke.’ Calum whispers, leaving kisses and love bites all around Luke’s neck. Luke’s hips jerk up a few times.

‘Cal, I wanna… wanna do it to you now.’ He breathes out then. Calum stops touching Luke and let’s himself be pushed on his back. Luke pushes away the sheets since they’re just very much in the way right now. Calum doesn’t protest: it gives him a great view of the blonde’s beautiful naked body. He looks nervous but determined as he kisses down Calum’s chest, giving both his nipples soft kitten licks.

‘Luke…’ Calum breaths. ‘P-please…’

Luke grabs onto Calum, slowly stroking up and down. Then he lowers his head, and kisses the tip of Calum’s dick. Calum moans as Luke takes him into his mouth completely. He starts sucking and bobbing his head in time with his hand that’s still stroking Calum.

‘Shit.’ Calum curses. ‘Fucking hell Luke. Your mouths perfect.’

He feels how Luke tries to take him deeper, then goes a bit too far and gags a bit, forcing a loud moan out of Calum. Luke pulls off and looks up at Calum with wide eyes and glossy lips.

Calum pulls Luke up and kisses him again cause he is a hundred percent sure he’ll cum if Luke does that again and then this will all be over earlier than Calum wants it to be. He shivers when he tastes himself a little on Luke’s tongue.

He rolls him over again, crawling over the boy. His hand finds his way between Luke’s ass cheeks, a finger teasing his hole.

‘You have lube and condoms somewhere?’ Calum asks him. ‘That’ll make it easier.’

‘It’s in my dresser, top drawer, under de boxers.’ Luke answers.

Calum laughs softly while standing up and walking towards Luke’s dresser.

‘You’re such a toddler.’ He mumbles. ‘Just put it in your nightstand.’

‘ _You’re_ a toddler.’ Luke mumbles back. ‘Can we skip the condom? We didn’t do it with last time and I’m assuming you’re clean.’

Calum nods. ‘Okay, sure.’ He grabs the lube and walks back to the bed. Luke is stroking himself slowly, his legs a bit apart and bent and the knees. It’s a beautiful sight. Calum crawls in between his legs, kissing both his knees.

‘You’re so pretty.’ He tells Luke while slicking up a finger. Luke smiles at him, blushing from the complement. It’s so typical of Luke to be blushing over a simple complement while he is spreading his legs for Calum and waiting for him to put his fingers up the boy’s ass.

Calum slowly pushes the first finger in, paying more attention to Luke’s expression than the last time. He looks a bit uncomfortable, but that’s normal after all. Calum starts thrusting his finger in and out, curling it a bit. When Luke chokes out a moan he knows he found Luke’s sweet spot.

After a while Calum is three fingers deep and Luke is shaking, his back arching and his hands fisting the sheets.

‘Cal… Cal I’m ready.’ Luke chokes out. ‘Need you…’

Calum nods and carefully takes his fingers out. Luke moves to lie on his stomach, but Calum stops him.

‘We can do it like this too. I wanna see your face when you cum this time. I can’t get the thought out of my head… you make the prettiest noises.’ He whispers to Luke. Luke nods slowly, blushing again and staying on his back. Calum pushes his legs back a little, showing Luke how to hold them. He lowers his hips, slicks up his dick and crawls further over Luke. Luke holds his breath while Calum tries to push in.

‘Relax beautiful. It’s easier if you relax.’

Luke nods and releases a long breath, closing his eyes and relaxing his body. Calum pushes in, inch by inch, until his hips are flush against Luke’s.

‘How do you feel?’ He asks. Luke opens his eyes and wraps his arms around Calum’s neck.

‘Full.’ He moans. Calum bites his lower lip and pulls out almost all the way before pushing back in. Luke let’s out the most delicious whimpers, clenching around Calum.

‘F-fuck… Calum…’

‘Tell me what you want baby.’ Calum whispers, stroking Luke’s face.

‘F-Faster.’ Luke groans. Calum bites his lower lip, grabs one of Luke’s legs, pushes it closer to the boys chest and speeds his hips up. Moans and whimpers fill the room, and Calum keeps steadily rocking into Luke.

Until Luke shouts out his name and arches his back.

‘Right there!’ He cries out, clenching around Calum and pulling his hair a little. Calum nods and speeds his hips up, hitting the same spot over and over. They kiss hungrily, until they have to stop cause they need to breathe.

‘Fuck… Cal… I love you so much.’ Luke chokes out.

‘Love you too baby.’ Calum reacts. He’s so close he can taste it, but he tries to holds back as much as he can. Luke needs to cum first.

Calum keeps rocking into Luke, hitting his sweet spot over and over. He reaches down to touch Luke’s dick, but he slaps away Calum’s hand.

‘Just you.’ He breaths. Calum moans louder than he has all night, now slamming into Luke. Seconds later the boys back arches, his mouth falls open in a soundless moan and he cums all over his and Calum’s stomach. Calum finally releases inside of Luke, moaning loudly.

The boys take a minute to catch their breath, and Luke shivers as Calum pulls out. Calum stays close to Luke, leaning over him and giving him small kisses.

‘This time I need to shower.’ Luke mumbles after a while. ‘I can feel it leaking out.’

‘O god.’ Calum says, lowering his head in the crook of Luke’s neck. ‘That’s so hot Luke.’

‘Really?’ Luke asks, his face red.

‘Yeah baby.’ Calum whispers, looking back up and kissing Luke softly again. ‘Everything about you is so hot.’

Luke giggles and pulls Calum closer.

‘I’ll ask it first.’ Luke says sternly after some silence. ‘What are we?’

Calum stares into the distance and strokes an imaginary beard, making Luke laugh. Then he turns back to the boy below him, observing his beautiful red cheeks and post-sex hair.

‘Be my boyfriend?’ Calum asks. Luke smiles and nods.

‘Okay.’

Calum is surprised by how smooth it goes, deifying what they are. He realises this is probably just the beginning: they’ll have to come out, tell their parents, get used to being boyfriends… he’s a bit scared, but it doesn’t weight up against what he gets to do now. Hold Luke. Touch Luke. Hold hands and kiss in public.

They kiss tenderly and cuddle for a while before they climb out of bed and make their way towards the bathroom. They stand next to each other in front of the mirror, staring in each other’s eyes.

‘By the way, you might wanna watch out for Julie tomorrow. Everybody kinda thinks we slept with her.’ Calum informs Luke before he slaps his butt cheek.

‘O my god!’ Luke squeaks before slapping Calum back. They start a butt-slapping war, giggling and squealing and running, ending up in a tight, warm embrace in the middle of the bathroom.

And that feeling that they’ve been waiting for, that overwhelming feeling that love should be, is finally there.

 

And the sex was _great_.


End file.
